Hi, I struggle with depression, anxiety, minor PTSD, and self-worth. The enemy really had me recently. Very recently. I felt like I could hardly breathe, but man, do I put on a good front. I have a big life-change coming up, and I’m stressing out. For no reason. And I knew it at the time. And I always tell myself I trust Jesus. I do. Fully. In some areas…I went to a Celebrate Recovery meeting, and I shared what I was struggling with. And the Holy Spirt came to me through an incredible woman. If you get to know this woman, you get to know such a gentle, kind-hearted, supportive person. She saw through my front, and she shared her testimony with me. Her words cut straight through to my heart. And while she was praying for me, my weakness turned to strength. I felt His light fill me again. I hadn’t realized how low my light had gotten. My PTSD and anxiety melted right away. And I felt such a sense of relief. When I am not strong enough to pray for myself, He always gives me the strength to ask for help. Read that sentence one more time.
I’ve been struggling with self-worth a lot lately. Wondering if I’m good enough for this new life-changing decision I’ve made, self-worth in my workouts, self-worth in my relationship with Christ. Just doubting I am enough. But I know I have worth in Christ. But I get quiet. I don’t feel like talking, so I don’t. God will nudge at me, and I won’t bite. That tiniest bit of questioning my worth, and I instantly draw back and become a recluse. Then the depression hits. And adding stressors to the mix, the anxiety picks up. When the anxiety is high enough the PTSD and sensory issues become an issue. Before you know it, you’re spiraling, and you have no idea. And then God shows up, and He’s like, “you miss me?” And you are so eager for His Spirit. For the last week I’ve been wanting to talk to Jesus the way I was talking to my friends, you know, a face-to-face. And I forget you get those conversations through your relationships.
When the Holy Spirit took over, everything left, and I felt such a huge burden be lifted off my chest, and there was a sense of lightness and peace between us. The stronger you are, the better equipped you are to handle the weight. Something to learn from this experience, God never gives up. His Spirit is always moving. Even when you give up, He never will.
With light and love, Lyss
12/7/23