Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I get overwhelmed with the amount that’s on my plate at all times. I don’t know. Probably just a me thing. Right? I’m sure everyone else has such an easy time balancing work, relationships, family, church, the gym, a hobby, errands, etc. I’m positive I’m the only one who feels overwhelmed by trying to complete it all. But just in case I’m not, let me share something I’m learning. Putting in 100% looks different every day. There are some days I wake up and I’m just glad I’m alive and am wearing pants. There are days I don’t even know my own name because I’m so overwhelmed. There are days I’m confident and feel like I can take on the world. There’s also days I want to curl up into a ball and cry all day. There are moments within a day when I just want to scream, or sleep, or pray. But sometimes you just can’t. But you still have to give 100%, right? So, what do you do?
From what I’ve found, you just have to be so honest with yourself and with others you might be affecting. For work, I wear many hats and I constantly have at least 5 projects I’m working on at a time, and that doesn’t include the little things people request of me. I forget. But I tell people to keep reminding me. Don’t let it get off my radar. Some days, I am on my A game and I’m giving everyone updates, and I’m checking things off my list of things to do, and other days I’m just trying to get to lunch time. But I still put in 100%. Even if Tuesdays 100% is only 50% of what I had Monday. Sometimes you just have to go one step at a time. And it’s important to know that you’re not doing it alone. When I’m having a day, I find myself really relying on God. I’m talking to Him constantly. I’m praying, I’m worshipping, I’m practicing gratitude. But what about the days where you can’t even give God 100%?
I’ve found myself there so many times with my depression. I shut everyone out, including the One that can help me. But I’ve noticed, sometimes when I pray or talk to God, I don’t always feel the Holy Spirit. I don’t always feel His presence. And that doesn’t mean that He is not listening. I was so depressed, and I wasn’t talking to anyone. I completely shut everyone out and shut God out, and I knew what I was doing and I knew it was only going to get worse. I was crying on my bed, and I cried out to God. I just said, “help me. I don’t know what I need right now, but I need to feel You. Please help me. I know You are the only One that can get me out of this.” And it wasn’t immediate. I prayed that a couple of times before I cried myself to sleep. But the next day, I God woke me up, and I felt His presence. That unexplainable light within yourself. I still was depressed, but I had His hope. Later that day, a friend reached out saying that they just knew they needed to reach out to me. I said, “yeah, Jesus has my back.” And we talked. She prayed over me, and the next day I was back to normal.
Not every day is going to look the same. Some days, our world is going to get flipped upside down, shake us to our core, or make us doubt. But those are the times we need to be honest with ourselves, with God, and with our support system. It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to be honest and raw with God. All He wants is your heart. He doesn’t care how much you tithe, or how many people you help. Good deeds don’t get you into Heaven. Salvation gets you there. But just because you have proclaimed Jesus is Lord and Savior, are you practicing what you preach? Are you giving all that you have to Him? Are you being honest? And communing with Him?
So I love the gym. Some days, I am a powerhouse, and I am just lifting heavy circles so well and everything is great. And then there are days where I can barely pull myself together enough to show up. But I still put in 100%. And what happens most of the time, because sometimes I’m dishonest with myself and I get myself there knowing I shouldn’t be there, but most of the time I push myself to do a workout and I feel better afterwards. I feel emotionally better, I feel physically better. And I’m glad that I showed up, and I’m glad I had a bad day and was able to work out those feelings. Progress isn’t linear. Sometimes the best progress you can make is when you rest, and you take things easy. My body is shaping much easier, my muscles can handle more weight, and I’m happier now that I don’t force myself to the gym 5x a week. The same thing can happen with your relationship with Jesus.
Some days, I am on fire for Jesus and I want to go out and preach to the whole world and shout my testimony from the mountaintops and I just want to show people my powerful and mighty Savior. And then there are days when I can barely bring myself to talk with Him. Both days, and all the days in between are important. You want to be on fire for God because it’s empowering and it’s exciting and the God we serve deserves all the glory and praise and worship we can give Him. But the tough days, the days we cry out to Him, those are the days our faith is tested and we see the fruits of faith. Those days are when we truly grow and mature in Christ. Be grateful for those days, because that is when you can see Him move. When I’m stressed, I give the issue to God. When I’m moody, I cry out to Him, when I’m happy I thank Him and give praise. But I love most the days where I am so overwhelmed with negative emotions because those are the days I truly see Him move and fight battles I didn’t even know were there. He is so trustworthy. Give Him everything you got. Your issue might be great, but our God is greater. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13). Even if all you can do, is say, “help” you are giving 100%. Any movement is movement in the right direction. Even if you tell God you are having a hard time trusting Him, that is still a move in the right direction. Don’t let the enemy get to you. Put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:11). Don’t get discouraged. God loves when we are honest and when we give Him our troubles. Let Him help you and guide you. Be humble. You can’t, nor do you have to do anything alone in this life. Rest and trust in God in all things.
God bless.
With light and love, Lyss
4/21/2024