What do you think of when you think of the waiting season? I used to think that it was maybe a week or so where I still felt the presence of God and His Spirit, but I just was in a minor dip emotionally and mentally, and I just didn’t want to connect. But after this past month, if not longer, I know what truly being in the desert, and truly waiting on God feels like. At least, in this moment. Who knows, there could be a different waiting season eventually. But this past season was incredibly difficult. I couldn’t feel the Holy Spirit. I wasn’t and couldn’t talk to God because I didn’t have it within me. I would cry out for help and felt powerless and abandoned. But the amazing thing about God is that even when I felt like He had abandoned me because I could no longer feel His presence, I knew He was there. I saw what He was doing. I saw His people trying to get to me. And I ignored or pushed them to the side. But He never stopped chasing me.
I was speaking with a coworker I never see, and he told me he was a new believer. And I could see he was on fire for Jesus, and I loved it. But I warned him about the waiting seasons. I told him I wasn’t trying to discourage him, because I shared bits of my testimony and my love for God, but I wanted him to understand. I told him I love Jesus still, but I’m not on fire. But I can still see Him moving in my life. And what’s crazy, is that even with me walking the line of not following His path, I could see Him fighting so hard for me. I could see God moving. I couldn’t feel Him, but I saw the chase. And I told this coworker that when he goes through his waiting seasons, through his deserts, to never lose his faith. Keep his eyes open. Because God will never stop chasing. We could never, ever earn His love. But He gives it so freely and so willingly, and it doesn’t matter how many times we fail and fall off the horse. Our Father is always there to pick us back up. He is always waiting for us with open arms.
If you’re like me, and maybe you struggle with Father’s Day, I just want you to read this and understand that your Father loves you more than you could ever imagine. And He will never abandon you, nor will He ever forsake you. You don’t hold God up, so there is nothing you could ever do to let Him down (a good friend quoted those lyrics from Jireh to me). Just keep waiting. Keep seeing God in your life, and don’t turn Him down. God works through the people He has strategically put in our paths. Rather than be negative towards God during that conversation with a coworker, I still loved on Jesus and His faithfulness. I was just waiting for Him. I saw Him chasing me, and yes, I did turn my back slightly, but He chased me all the more fiercely. We could never imagine His love for us, nor could we ever deserve. But thank God. I am grateful to be part of this Heavenly family and I am the most blessed woman to be able to call on my Heavenly Father.
With light and love, Lyss
6/16/2024